Choices

Well it's been a month since I found out what we're having and now that I know I can't tell you how excited I am. I'm sure some people go through pregnancy being excited every single day since they found out, but I know that there has to be people out there who acted the same way I did otherwise, there wouldn't be a need for adoption.
I am so very grateful that I have people in my life who understood that I needed to talk to someone about all my choices that I'm about to make. People who thought it was the right thing and grown up thing to do. I'm glad I was able to find someone to talk to. Though, I haven't spent a lot of time with this person I feel like I can honestly say I can make a choice. I can make the right choice for me and be ok with the way mine and Whyatt's life will take shape from now on.

I'm keeping him!

I'm still really scared and very nervous about my choice, but I feel in my heart that there's a reason why it happened now. There's a reason why I found Travis again, there's a reason why this time out of countless other times I got pregnant, and i know there has to be a reason why i was able to keep this child instead of the one I lost several years ago. I can't say that I'm 100% ready for this task but I know in my heart that I can do a good job and I have a wonderful support system of people who love Travis and I already and I know that they will accept and love Whyatt just as much if not more.

As i look back and think I'm so very grateful that my life is what it is now. I'm glad that I had a chance to do the things I've already done. I've graduated High School, went to some college, became a Nanny for 2 totally different families, gotten married, divorced, loved, lost, and spent a year with the most wonderful man I know.

Now I get to look forward to spending hours assembling a crib, making his room perfect, and telling Travis countless times to move something because it's just not in the right place. Just so in the end it can end up in the exact same place it was to start with. I'm so glad he loves me. Even though some days I might have to remind him. hee hee

I can't wait for my baby shower on July 17th. I'm so excited that Amanda & Tammy have spent hours designing, making, cutting, pasting, addressing, sending out baby shower invites to all my friends. Tammy for letting us take over your house, Amanda for knowing me well enough to know what I like and what I'll love and Jocelyn for being willing to make your wonderful chocolate covered strawberries. I can't wait to see everyone there and I'm sure I'll blog about the party and experience.

Thank you to everyone I love you all and can't wait until we can all share in the joy that Whyatt will bring to everyone.